I was around some teens last week and there was a moment that caused me to remember how as an adolescent there were certain teachers, older students, coaches, parent's friends, etc. that I admired and inwardly wanted to honour. I would observe them, often subconsciously, hoping they merited my regard. Those individuals were inadvertently my mentors whether they ever agreed to the position or not and if somehow they hurt or disappointed me, I felt it keenly. I'm well aware that to feel that disappointment, to recognize that our heroes are imperfect is part and parcel of growing up, but my rememberance had me wondering if as adults we/I completely let go of that kind of regard for others.
I'm inclined to answer no. I don't think we put as much stock in one person, but if I consider certain characteristics I appreciate/aspire towards I find that there is one person in my life who defines my notion of courtesy and being a gentleman, another who is my idea of a lady, another who has given me the most accurate picture of discretion, another sincerity, another integrity, another what it is to live passionately, another what it is to live unencumbered, another of what it means to truly accept others as they are... and so on. I don't carry any illusions of any one of those people being infallible, even in living out whatever particular trait I admire them, but I do recognize my continued need to have ways of life modeled, not just presented in abstract ideas or standards or ideals. I look for good ways of life to be literally fleshed out.
I'm still in process of the "so what" of these thoughts. Some of the continuing questions that come to mind: Why do I pick the people I do? How do I respond, now, if/when they disappoint? Am I someone else's model for any particular trait or do I want to know that? (Probably not.) What traits do I even look to observe in others lives and why those? It's just something I have tumbling around my mind this week.
