A hodgepodge of very Monday.

• I had nightmares last night. I don't have nightmares. I couldn't remember them this morning except that people I love were dying. A co-worker said, "Well at least you weren't dying" (because that's what his nightmares usually include). The thing is, I've had several moments in my life when I could have died, and I wasn't freaked out so when I do have dreams that I'm dying they aren't nightmares to me. My emotional pain because people I love were suffering: way worse.
• I cried, today, ...more than once. (And, no, I can't blame it on hormones.)
• Talking with a friend made me feel better.
• Holding an eight-month old baby made me feel better, too. (It was so good to see you, Robin, and I can't wait to see you again on Thursday.)
• I'm glad my life has forward motion or I think I'd go crazy right now. 
• I'm also glad I know how to live with passion. Yesterday, I had a moment when I could feel the way it would be to live not really caring about anything, without longing for anything specific, only having vague dreams, minimal hopes, and a foggy idea of what I had to offer the world. It wasn't a good feeling.
• I made one of my (7) bosses blush bright red, today, without intending to at all. It was great! 
• I remembered something about my brother, Nathan, today. At some point when he was in high school, it became important to him to treat people he encountered as worth-the-while/as valuable. I think I first noticed it in the way he interacted with his teachers or classmates he didn't have a lot in common with. He recognized their stories in a way that let them know they (the individuals) were legitimate. He can be (usually is) incredibly blunt and straightforward, though tactful, but he doesn't belittle. Even times when he's pointed out where I'm blowing it, I've walked away feeling affirmed. He honors others' integrity. It's something I really appreciate about him and this aspect of how he lives teaches me to live better.
• Sometimes steamed broccoli with just the right amount of butter and salt is tastier than desert (tonight was one of those times).
• However, layered chocolaty rum/kahlua cake with dark chocolate sauce, creamy caramel and toasted pecans= amazing. Add whipped cream and you might die of happiness. I need to learn to make this kind of cake. Right now I'm just imagining it.
• The thin spread of muscles just below my collar-bone is sore tonight. (Thank you Jillian Michaels.) I'd forgotten those muscles exist.
• I've been thinking again about why I don't always make the safe/comfortable choice. If I don't risk, I don't grow. This doesn't mean risk anything at any time, but it does make me want to pay attention to if or what I am risking, now... and why.
• There's more hodgepodge, but I'm going to call it a day in favor of my pillow.